“Uh … So, you’ve never been in love huh?” – Somebody just asked me after reading one of my blog posts.

I said no – I thought I was right. I was not… Maybe. Haha.

I had to ask myself – have I really been in love?

You have, Soham. You definitely have. Someone just replied.

WTF – No, I haven’t. I know I’ve always been a selfish guy. How can I love someone else more than myself?

I’m still confused.

And then, Mom came in.

You know how moms are. They will spare you from anything even if they have to absorb all your pain for you.

Now, I know I love my mom. But deep down inside, I don’t know if it’s really unconditional.

I don’t even know if it’s how I feel or if it’s just a thought.

I don’t fully understand myself. And that is why my false self often wants others to understand me. Maybe it’s the same with you – or maybe not.

Life is hard when you don’t know who you are. It just kinda sucks.

And on top of that, we’re so desperate to place our false selves in the opinions, feelings and eyes of others.

What can we possibly expect from living a life like this? – An unlived life!

My mom knows me in a way I never will. And I know myself in a way no one else ever will.

I’ve sort of started getting this feeling that love is a mysterious presence that levels all our boundaries and shallow differences. Love is something that arises in you from a place where reason, often doesn’t reside. It is far beyond our logic, reasoning and understanding for we are trying to decipher it with ‘TWO’ – or even more.

Love can never be two. It is and has always been one. The moment you make it two – it’s not love. And reasons can never get it. How could they? All they have ever known is theories, concepts and beliefs. They can, for sure, take you from point A to point B, no doubt. But, what’s the point of pointing out, when there’s no point to prove?

If it’s one, it’s wrong – that’s what reason thinks. The grounds of reasoning start shaking once you bring oneness into the topic. It never wants to be ‘one’. In fact, it can’t exist in ‘one’. But you know what – even it is indeed, part of the same ‘one.’

What an irony!

Love and reason are two two parallel lines that can never meet.

Let’s get back to the question now. So “have I ever been in love?” Well, this is a wrong question.

I can sense the question has been derived from reasoning – not from love – even though it’s about love.

And I’m pretty sure the one that asked this question is never going to be satisfied with my answer. Because subliminally, she wants a reasonable answer.

I’m sorry I can’t be reasonable about love. It’s just NOT possible.

But let me try, will you?

How can someone be in anything else than love? The very basis of our existence is Love.

When I say love, I mean the underlying force that binds us all together, the earth, the universe – everything.

You can call it whatever you want to.

So yes, not only have I been in love, love is in me. And that’s all that there is. We are in it. Instead of getting hung up on our intellectual understanding of love, let’s just feel it.

Feel now, think Later.

Soham Amatya

Hey there! I’m Soham Amatya, a Kathmandu-based freelance writer, blogger and internet marketer. When I’m not working, I’m probably talking science and spirituality with my friends at some café around the corner. Don’t forget to say hi next time you see me. :)

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